The day my little darling entered this world is still vivid in my mind. Lot of fear and excitement- a mixed feeling. Then passed five months at home just with my little darling, lot of dreams filling my thoughts on how to bring him up. Ofcourse, there were times when there were continous sleepless nights and tough challenging times too. Every little movement of him was an excitement. Camera and camcorder behind the pillows so that I don’t miss anything!!!
Yes, the time has now come to return to work after utilizing all possible leave extensions.. The first day I ever parted for more than an hour from my little darling. With a troubled state of mind I leave him to my mom and finally left to office. He is too young to even understand that I will be back in the evening and fondle him. What would go through the little mind? Would he think his mom his lost or that she does not care about him?
All the thoughts were just flashing my mind as I was on the way to office. The moment I entered in, it was all so new. The place I used to spend more than ten hours a day for years was like an alien world. Then came the welcoming and along with it every other person I see on the way no matter whether I know them or not was the sentence-“You must be feeling really bad leaving your little one at home”! When they know the pain God! Why do they ask it ?
Finally, settling at my work place and you know I was looking at the monitor and keyboard as if seeing for the first time J . Five months at home just engrossed with the little one -be it a nappy change, feeding, cleaning or playing- completely abandoned from the outside world to some extent. In few hours I was getting used to this routine and then it was time to go back home. First time in my career, have I rushed so soon! Ofcourse, then on this is my way!!
On the way back home, I was thinking a little too much in the fifteen minutes drive that I had in order to reach home. Will he be excited to see me? Or will he think I left him alone? Will he be angry? Will he start hating me!! Then I said to myself- Relax- he is a baby J
I rushed upstairs hurriedly washing my hands to hold the little one. There he was- happily cuddled in the hands of his grand parents and laughing to glory. When I tried to hold him, he just looked away as if looking at someone for the first time! May be he thought I will leave again or was it his naughty way of showing his disappointment? We then struggled in our own way for a patch up. And how he is in my lap playing heartily.I fed him and put him to sleep, looking at the little angel and wondering how he would feel the next day. I can’t even tell him that I will go to office tomorrow and rush back to see him in the evening.
To our surprise, kids do adjust themselves better than we adults do. In few weeks he started saying bye bye to his mom. They are more accepting! It was me with a flip flop mind sandwiched with guilt, confusion and what not. After three years of this unstable mind, now I am with him all time. And when I say someone even on the phone- That I am feeling lonely at times being at home, he runs to me and says spontaneously- Amma, you are not lonely, am I not with you”! -what else do you need!!!
Yes, the time has now come to return to work after utilizing all possible leave extensions.. The first day I ever parted for more than an hour from my little darling. With a troubled state of mind I leave him to my mom and finally left to office. He is too young to even understand that I will be back in the evening and fondle him. What would go through the little mind? Would he think his mom his lost or that she does not care about him?
All the thoughts were just flashing my mind as I was on the way to office. The moment I entered in, it was all so new. The place I used to spend more than ten hours a day for years was like an alien world. Then came the welcoming and along with it every other person I see on the way no matter whether I know them or not was the sentence-“You must be feeling really bad leaving your little one at home”! When they know the pain God! Why do they ask it ?
Finally, settling at my work place and you know I was looking at the monitor and keyboard as if seeing for the first time J . Five months at home just engrossed with the little one -be it a nappy change, feeding, cleaning or playing- completely abandoned from the outside world to some extent. In few hours I was getting used to this routine and then it was time to go back home. First time in my career, have I rushed so soon! Ofcourse, then on this is my way!!
On the way back home, I was thinking a little too much in the fifteen minutes drive that I had in order to reach home. Will he be excited to see me? Or will he think I left him alone? Will he be angry? Will he start hating me!! Then I said to myself- Relax- he is a baby J
I rushed upstairs hurriedly washing my hands to hold the little one. There he was- happily cuddled in the hands of his grand parents and laughing to glory. When I tried to hold him, he just looked away as if looking at someone for the first time! May be he thought I will leave again or was it his naughty way of showing his disappointment? We then struggled in our own way for a patch up. And how he is in my lap playing heartily.I fed him and put him to sleep, looking at the little angel and wondering how he would feel the next day. I can’t even tell him that I will go to office tomorrow and rush back to see him in the evening.
To our surprise, kids do adjust themselves better than we adults do. In few weeks he started saying bye bye to his mom. They are more accepting! It was me with a flip flop mind sandwiched with guilt, confusion and what not. After three years of this unstable mind, now I am with him all time. And when I say someone even on the phone- That I am feeling lonely at times being at home, he runs to me and says spontaneously- Amma, you are not lonely, am I not with you”! -what else do you need!!!
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