Cling Cling

As a baby, my eyes hankered to hold the hands of my mom,
To break the insecurity, to give me confidence;
As I grow, the young girl in me looked forward
To hold on to my career,
Along with the fun and stress that it brought along.

The marriage knot brought a new dimension to life,
Holding on to a hand in the path of life,
Then I grow to hold on to a baby,
Both of us holding on to each other so that neither of us fall!

I sit around today thinking when would I come out of this
relay race of holding onto something,
Though you may call this a way of life,
Is it not time to hold on to something on which I have control,
Why not hold on to myself?
So that I can be steady enough to hold so many other hands!

Great(or No?) Expecations

Any emotion has its root from expectations. Its rather a very commonly heard quote that “ No expectations, no disappointments”. I bet almost every one of us would have heard this atleast once and that too from the most dear ones who claim to care the most for us. I agree that is the greatest philosophy of life but then have they thought of the feasibility of this?

When you are seriously disappointed on something and someone says this to you, would we be in a position to understand this great philosophy? We either shout back at them or get all the more irritated or see them as GOD for enlightening you at the moment :).

I had always tried to give importance to this quote from those dear ones of me; after all they say this to make me happy. How would it be if I do a little logical pondering on it?
Here it goes…

Expectations get its origin the time we enter this world.

The doctor expects the child to cry as it is born…
A teacher expects a child to perform in the required manner….
Parents have certain expectations on their children….and there are so many such instances..

In any of these situation, if we use our favourite quote??? Fingers crossed :)))

If a mom questions a child on his low grade and the child uses this famous quote, will you be happy that he understood what life is all about??

OK….before you get wild on me,,,let me take this little closer….Does any relationship bloom without expectations? If we don’t have any expectations on anything at all, where is the human in us? Fulfilled expectations bring cheer and broken expectations bring sorrow. The two major pillars of emotion-happiness and sorrow- origin from expectations. How can we throw this out? If this emotion in us can be thrown so easily, wouldn't we be saints? We are all normal human beings controlled by emotions and the building block of emotions is expectations.

As any relationship blooms, the expectation rises and the strength of any bondage is in the attempt to understand and fulfill the expectations of our loved ones. Sometimes, we fail and that is natural. We can justify it and come to a compromise. Is there any spice in life if for the fear of disappointments, we stay away from expectations?

We are not insane to have tons of expectations from everyone and if we do so, then I join hands with the propagators of this quote. But certain expectations are justified and if they are not satisfied, we have every right to mourn about it, fight for it and settle it down and I am sure that will make us feel lot better and strengthen the bond than hearing and submitting ourselves to this quote.

Next time someone uses this, please think if it is really applicable. I do agree sometimes it holds true too…:)but please can we make it context sensitive?? :))

Navneeth Neram-continues....

Can we call this Witty?

Navneeth: Looking at the new ipod, curiously asking “What do you call this?
Mom: i-pod
Navneeth: The one you keep in ears and listen to songs…what do you name it?
Mom: That’s wht…ipod
Navneeth: “eye”-pod a?
Mom: yes dear..i pod..how many times do you ask?
Navneeth: Very serious and convinced on his logical reasoning says “You keep it in the ear and listen , Why do you say “eye”- pod? Ear pod dane?”
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How about you dad?

First time he participated in a sloka competition and he got a participation prize. Very nice of the organizers to encourage all the kids and most of the kids came out running that they won the prize with the participation certificate in their hand. It was such a feast to the eyes to see the triumphant feeling in the kids. I thought as they grow they will know the spirit of competition. But that was not so far. The second time it happened the very next month. Again he got a certificate  and this time he witnessed few kids having something more than a certificate. When he asked me I said – You said so well that’s why you got this. If you say little loud next time, you will get that gift”. Hesitantly, he was quiet and as a token of encouragement I got him a “prize”. But then I guess he understood the difference of winning a prize.

Few weeks later, his dad had completed some exam and he heard me say “Congratulations” over the phone. Unexpectedly with a serious concerned face he snatched the phone from me and asked- “Appa, did you get a certificate or a prize?”(According to him, you are congratulated only when you win any competitions” ). We could not help bursting out into laughter. How much I wish I had a dslr cam handy to capture that expression of curiosity to know whether his dad was a winner or just got a certificate, which according to him everyone gets . Only then I could realize the impact of the prize winning feeling on the four year old.

For now, this has been a motivational factor for him to win a prize. I do sometimes feel with the sensitivity rising in the recent days, the challenge of competing with highly talented kids, will every failure be taken a stepping stone for self improvement or pave way to give up the struggle of competing? Anyways, life is but a hope of positives in all aspects.

Shh....Gossip corner

“Shh...No Gossip" is something all of us hear at one point or the other but it is something all of us can’t resist. Sometimes, you do it as you want to do it, sometimes unintentionally you get involved in it. It even becomes ventilation from the stress we go through. Don’t you agree a quick gossip at a tea break on a busy day would make you feel better?

And who is gonna break the myth that only women are more inclined to gossips? If you closely observe even men enjoy listening to all the gossips but then with the disclaimer they are not for it. They do secretly enjoy it and they get so used to it that they may even sometime miss it, all the while not realizing it, or may be not accepting it. And yes, even they do gossip. May be the area of gossip may be on a little different perspective, which they claim it to be a healthy argument. Well, I would say that is also a gossip.

Gossip is not something always entitled to back biting and waste of time prevailingly targeted on the housewives of the family and is even criticized as an outcome of an idle mind. May be sometimes it is, as all other things, I feel there is also a good side to it.

Let me share some of the quick interesting gossips that i catch up with moms and elderly paati’s, while I wait for my child either at his play or at any of his classes. Some of them were quite interesting, funny as well as thought provoking. Here goes few…

1. Why women should be sent to in-laws house, when it is an established fact that no two women can get along. Had it been son’s going to in-laws place, most of the times they would be at office and mom and daughter are less likely to get into tiffs?

2. Really interesting tips on shopping, informative tips on all the classes in the neighborhood more updated than the newspapers, cooking tips and just for fun columns also add to this gossip corner.

Such gossips also give a broader perspective on different kind of people and opinions and yes, it is always a matter of choice on what kind of gossip you want to join in. I definitely don’t say to take them seriously, but feel they are not to be brand among the “No-No’s”. Such small gossips away from the routine tape recorded talks on kids or spouses or boss or your work is definitely a harmless stress buster.What say?

Navneeth Neram-continues....

What do I answer? Logging these questions so that I would clarify the answers with his when he grows up 

Is this Compassion or Logic?

Mom: Navneeth, y don’t you wear your slippers? its so hot…
Navneeth: see there are so many ants going..y don’t you stitch a slipper for them too!!


Points to Ponder

Once when I corrected him saying it is hair oil and not head oil, he asked my “Why not”??
Spontaneously, I just answered “That is because you apply to the hair and not head”, not realizing he would ponder on that 
Then came the instant reply- Why do you say head bath and not hair bath?


Yet another incident was when I was just putting him to sleep with a lullaby which has a line “kaveri snanam”…at around 11pm in the night, half drowsy came a question –Amma, if we take bath in the river, wont it get dirty? Y do they ask us to do that??

Well, I guess just as we try to skip confusing points while taking a seminar, fearing questions; I may have to apply the same strategy before I use anything with my little one. A better option may be to get smarter to answer him 


Embarrassed !!


He loves his teacher and I have been using the age old phenomenon of using the teacher’s name wherever he goes wrong. It was working so fine and today he came back from school saying- Mom, when I do a mistake you say that you would tell my teacher. Today, I told her that “My mom beats me when I don’t behave well”.

For a moment I was taken aback. Thank God, he added the clause “when I don’t behave well”. And when I asked him what his teacher replied for that, the answer was-“Be good at home too as you are in the class”

Thanks to the teacher too but what if he had missed the later part of his complaint. And what if he had said that in a place like US?

The Frozen thoughts!!

Ups and down here and there sometimes does not let you pen your thoughts frequently.

Started it casually,
unconsciously got involved,
saw everything in me-
my poblem, my emotions
my crazy thoughts
as if designed for me...
sought answers to the questions
i feel hesitant to ask anyone
Now, i am addicted to it.
I love it - THE FROZEN THOUGHTS

The best magazine ever!!i go for it when i am happy, sad, ignored , alone or just want to be with myself.
Sure all those people,  like minded as me will enjoy it too :)

Funny Optimism :)

A simple glass piece
Painted with utmost care and rejoice
Transformed into a beautiful art
Bringing life to every part ..
Alas, to the wind
that shattered it to pieces...
My admires to the lass
who still beleives putting it together
as a challenge to the wind....
Confronting with the way of life..
With a confident smile upon the face,,,

Solitary Whisper

Instant emails flooding the inbox,

Mobiles clinging to your hand,

Fervent mind chirping to share the

Minute intricacies of life

Restless heart craving a patch up

For the silliest squabble that holds up

The show for hours,

Disappointments turning to excitement

In a jiffy as if an enchantment,

Everything was so easy and fun,

Holding the hands and mind in the tight knot of love

Denying any mystical power in the name of fate

That could steal this beautiful life..

Where is it all now?

Searching searching, searching all the way…..

Stuck in the middle unable to move on either way….

Navneeth Neram......

There are many times when we stumble to answer the witty curiosity of our growing toddlers. Just thought would pen some of the cutest, sometimes embarrassing but still thought- provoking moments of my little one before it fades from my memory. May be when he grows up we can relish it together :) or I just leaf through these lovely growing years of his, when these spontaneous innocence fades into maturity.

Here goes few…

Navneeth: Thatha, what do you do as soon as you get up?

Grandpa : brush my teeth

Navneeth: But then you don’t have teeth…(With real serious face curious for an answer!)

In the music class,

Teacher: Why are you looking at her? look at me and sing!!

Navneeth: Because in my school “Aadit” was looking at “ Harini”

What a logic!

When I was trying to teach the concept of “maternal” and “paternal” relationships…

Mom: what do you call radha chithi(my sister)

Navneeth: Thinks….with help says maternal aunt

Mom: what do you call viji athai(dad’s sister)?

Navneeth: Again with help,,,says paternal aunt

Mom: rukku paat(My mom)?

Navneeth: maternal grandma

Mom: too very satisfied..says very good!!!!

 I was so pleased that he got it right, in the mindset to refresh it , asked him again , now can you tell me what you call radhai paati(dad’s mom)?

Answer: maternal mom!!

Mom: oh no!!!wrong!!

Navneeth: no, I am right..

Mom: Just now I told you navneeth,,,think and say,,,

Navneeth: you call dad’s mom as mom…..you have two moms…why do u say I am wrong?

Mom…ya, you are right!! L

Navneeth: say sorry then!!next time say it right..ok? “say ok…”

In the park, High on the ladder ready to slide,,,

Navneeth: mom, look how tall I am..

Mom: really tall dear..now can u slide..

Navneeth: Can I jump from here?

Mom: No..slide (annoyed)

Navneeth: y??

Mom; little agitated, slideeeeeeeeee,,,,,,,,,,

Navneeth: will I die if I jump from here?

(Loud enough for everyone to hear)

Mom: (embarrassed): pushing the leg to forcibly slide him down !!!!

In the school, when the teacher was discussing on the profession of parents…a small conversation between kids, which I would say gave me the satisfaction that defeated even the best appraisals of my career …

X to Navneeth: My mom is a teacher

Navneeth: without hesitation, my mom takes me from school to home!!

Thank God..Cows dont fly!

I was busy shifting my house and the magnitude of planning to vacate a house was just too much especially with my little one around getting attracted to all the items heaped in the trash. I was just wondering how few of them make it so easy. Whatever said, things had to move on and everything was getting delayed. The packers and movers were late by more than two hours after recursively calling them every half an hour and I was cursing as if I was handling the world’s toughest challenge and nothing was going my way.


Finally when they entered, it was three teenage guys and we immediately gave a piece of our mind the moment they stepped in. Calm and composed were two of them, assuring things will happen on time and one of them spoke out very politely-“Please talk to the owner. We are just part time workers not informed of any timings” and then started off with their work. I was taken aback for a moment and I bet if many of the highly placed professionals complaining of stress at work would have this attitude, life would definitely be better.

Though not great professionals at their work they went on with what little fun they could have for themselves without any frustrations. This made me wonder-oh my god, Here I am just sitting and getting restless and irritable, when someone else is packing my stuff doing with outmost care”.

After few hours of work, I came to know they were all final year engineering students doing this as part time job with their college reopening the next day. When asked, they told me they are paid 200 rupees per day for this tedious work. Had I been in this place, I am sure I would have felt the most unfortunate person struggling even for education. To add on, I would be cribbing on how to repay the loan for my studies earning this way?I could not stop relating the confidence and attitude of these guys compared to the demands of the children we are struggling to fulfill .

This made me relate to an article recently read wherein a person perfectly dressed for an interview got his dress spoiled by a crow that passed his head upon which he commented- Thank God, cows don’t fly”!

Well, I now feel it is more than a “just for laugh “column.

Back again!!

One thing on the priority list of all my backlogs is my blog. Like all the endless planning, which never gets implemented, keeping my blog active has also joined the list. Today, I somehow made time and decided to kick off this top item on the pending list.

Just thinking back, this blog had just started as a good companion to me and I enjoyed writing it .Now, I am looking for excuses why I have not been writing. Next in the pipleline of my mind is “why am I writing this?” Not because someone asked me to, nor that it is my exercise and of course not to impress anyone or win readers. It was to bottle up my silly thoughts and may be in future I read them and enjoy the reminiscences of incidents, my views and the state of my flickering mind just like how we browse our school photographs.

My thoughts had been flooding with various things to update on this blog, and the only lame excuse for not doing it was not taking time off for myself.

May be I was looking for an auspicious day to resume this work ?? :) and well in that case let that day be today !

So like all other things I assure to myself that I continue blogging and get my piece of satisfaction and contentment by jotting my thoughts and sharing it with all of you!!

Adieu Nokia!

After a really really long time, I thought I would change my mobile. My Nokia basic model, I have to admit, had been quite faithful to me after so many mishandling, which include dropping it down more than,,,hmm,,,definitely not less than hundred times. All you need to do just pick up the parts and fix it together which my four year old darling can do it in a jiffy.

The only reason I wanted a change was a quick camera and a camcorder to record the instant reactions and surprise performances by my little one. Cannot run around for a camera or a camcorder for such silly cute extempore! And I had missed so many of them in these two years this way. So decided to upgrade my ever faithful nokia mobile. Never had I thought of any another cell phone provider other than Nokia all these days and now I wanted a change. This sleak stylish sliding Samsung caught my attention. With lot of apprehension, comparing with a Nokia with similar features, I went for this.

As soon as i got, i told it first to a dear friend and there was this spontaneious reaction-"Why did you go for a Samsung? Does not have battery life. Spending so much for a Samsung mobile…It went on….blah blah..", just different version of “Are you crazy?” Got so much influenced that I thought do I need to change it back to Nokia? Though I liked the mobile at the first sight, the thought of ditching the ever steady and running inspite of thrown down the stairs coupled with this first reaction made me give a second thought. I enquired few more Samsung mobile reviews with other friends and it was not so bad. Some of them were-“Come on, lets try a change atleast in this :)”, “Can’t be bad”, “Have not had major problems so far” and few more .Ya, cannot expect it to be so sturdy and steady as Nokia with an endless lifetime was an universal opinion and I don’t deny that too.

But this time I was carried away with this stylish sliding mobile that I thought I will be more tender to this mobile and go with this. After all, how else do I learn to be careful after taking the Nokia to be for granted all these years.

Now, using it for few days, I have really started liking it that I have no second thoughts. Variety is the spice of life..though I don’t dare to test it on everything, I think I can afford to check on this:)

Just My Evening

I don’t remember the last time I spent one full day all alone. Though this one year at home had given be enough free time, they have never been like being alone.

My mom wanted to take Navneeth to the Ramanajur temple at Sriperumbatur this evening. At first, I was little skeptical on this as I did not want to add on to her strain with my little naughty kid. But then, once you tell him, you can’t stop him and even my mom assured me it should not be a problem as it would not take a maximum of four hours for the visit. Yes, the green signal to start!!

At first, I was thinking what I would do sitting all alone at home as almost all the work for the day had been done. It was almost five in the evening. In just a jiffy, a big list hit my mind. Half a day just for me with no mom to question or advice, no husband to quarrel..oops sorry ..to argue I meant :) and no Navneeth needing my constant scrutiny !

The list ran from reading my favorite long time not returned library book, blogging, peacefully cooking a simple dinner with nice choice of my music, get back with the long time missed calls of friends as there was no Navneeth to pull the mobile, and before I could realize I was sitting idle for half an hour thinking about all this.

As I was spending the evening happily with myself, flashed in my mind the college and school days I used to be alone in the evenings waiting for my mom and dad to return. So being alone was never so difficult as I tuned myself to enjoy such things, ofcourse, until a threshold, which never exceed one evening to the maximum.

I almost completed half the list I just mentioned and it was eight thirty. It was pleasant and peaceful and by now I think I started missing them. Waiting for each of them to come home and make it more lively with all tantrums, scoldings, arguements and blah blahs :))…

I guess it would be nice to make some space for yourself every now and then !

Miss you.....

With all the tension cooling down after the coimbatore trip, I settled down with the usual self assurance “All for good” and started the usual chores after two days.
I guess I had looked at myself properly in the mirror only now after the trip. Something was missing. Yes, it was my short chain that was a part of me for the past five years. I confidently opened to take it out from my handbag, where I had placed it during the wedding to adore my neck with some jing bangs. When I dint find it in the first search inside my handbag, there was not any panic. Not so easy to find things in my always messy handbag!

But soon I realized it was not there. I started recollecting all the incidents after I had placed it inside. I could easily visualize putting it inside a ziplock cover and that too in the innermost zip of my handbag. After that I never bothered to check that. With all this tension of rushing back home with Navneeth down with viral, where would the thought be?

I searched again everywhere in the suitcases, hand luggage and every other possible places before I declared it was missing. I can guess the reactions-“You should have been more careful”, “This is not the first time” etc,,,!!! , so I dint want to hear it for no reason :). When you are already upset, this kind of adds fuel, though I agree all of them were cent percent true. But yes, now there is no choice. Now I have a trio- me, murali and my mom- brainstorming where and when it could have gone! I hated it. The fact is it is gone. You are just not spared like that so I had to participate in the session!!! There were also if’s and but’s. “If I had worn it again after the wedding”, “if i had cross checked once etc…”

I do feel sad for losing it not only for the cost at which gold and diamonds are sold but also the sentimental value I have attached to it. The pendant with 3 lovely studded diamonds caught almost every woman’s attention. All my dear ones reading this should be by now able to recollect the pendant I am talking about
:(  As with all things where you realize your attachment when it is gone, I do miss this lovely pendant hanging around my neck all these years. Flipping through my old snaps, I cannot help noticing the delicate darling hanging around me in almost every snap.

What else can be done now? Bygones are bygones! Ya…need to be more careful :)

Our trip to Kovai

It has been a long time and I wanted to take a break and go out for a small vacation. Rightly came a wedding of one of our relatives at Coimbatore. So I made sure everything was ready and packed for the trip – a little too much planning for a 2 day show I would say!!

Well, the planning was only on the packing part and not on the ticket front. We had only one confirmed ticket and the other one was confirmed the last minute, so obviously in a different compartment. With a confident hope that we can exchange with some co- passengers, we had packed two suitcases. On top of this, Navneeth was down with fever and with a gut feeling it will subside with a crocin, we proceeded to go ahead with the trip. Murali was also confronted with some important official work and there were few skeptical thought on canceling the trip the last minute. But then we boarded the train beleiving all will be well. Myself and Navneeth in one and murali in another distantly located compartment...one suitcase with me and the other with all handy items for Navneeth with him. We assumed we can talk to the TTE and get back traveling together in the next major junction. Sadly, that did not happen. All the planning went for a toss. Navneeth wanted biscuits, water and also a blanket..Nothing did I have. Cuddled him my duppata and luckily managed to have a crocin in my handbag.. The fever was shooting.

Somehow, we managed to reach the wedding hall. Seeing the crowd and all dham dhoom happening in the wedding coupled with the crocin working inside, Navneeth looked happily enjoying the day and so did we.

The evening passed on with a wonderful trip to some enchanting temples. Navneeth was so excited at the elephants in the temple and jumping around happily. On the way back the fever showed up again. As we reached the mandapam back at 8, he was with high fever and drooping eyes. With incessant cries, he clinged to me. The train to Chennai was at 2 pm the next day which meant going to the doctor would delay by more than 1.5 days. Luckily, we happened to get an invite from one of Murali’s relative to stay for the night. Still hoping he will be alright in the morning, I made him some porridge and also gave him a higher dose of crocin, as per the telephonic instruction fro his usual doctor at Chennai..

All of us were too tired and slept for few hours constantly checking his temperature. With no improvement in the morning, dozen of thoughts flashed my mind. First, I thought would check with some doctor at coimbatore, get some emergency medicine for travel. Then the mind was bombarding in all directions- what if he needs some blood test etc to be taken? What if he needs to be hospitalized? With no one known in this city, what if we get stuck here with Navneeth needing more medical attention…

Then came a flashing thought of reaching home safe and soon. We checked for the earliest flight possible and reached home in the afternoon. Meanwhile, had to call my mom and convince her in the best possible way that there is nothing to worry and just that we are coming as a precaution. As if she cant make it out. Still, its all needed right? We try to think we still act smart even in such a chaotic circumstances ..

Then by noon he was declared by the doctor that it was nothing to be worried and just a viral. There was so much relief in our eyes to see Navneeth playing in the night so casual that nothing had ever happened :). It had taken me a week to settle to the normal routine and sit down writing this.

All the relatives and close ones had been so worried and anxious that we somehow felt the wedding mood was drifted. Well, just thinking back on the planning I had done for this trip..Uh? So I once again go back to my policy that planning never works..And as far as the wedding, we did have fun and if not for this incdent, I guess it would not be so memorable!!

My First Short Story,,,

It was dawn and she was wrapped in her bedsheet on a chilly winter day. Everyone was fast asleep and there was no hurry to get up on a Saturday. But sleep has always been a very mischievous pal that it never cooperated when needed and just clings on when time demands a wake up. So with eyes still closed, she let free the rope of her mind waver.

Priyanka always loved dreaming and believed in her dreams from childhood. The cute cartoon characters in childhood, the adventurous Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys in teens and many other stories or incidents, she would relate to herself and her life. It could be as fun as playing in snow at Swiss, being on a huge lovely beach with dear ones or as dramatic as crying for an emotional scene on the big screen.

Not much could she recollect of her childhood now, but sure she was a darling to her parents and was a pampered but not a spoilt child. But growing up her dreams has been a challenge as the reality show was scary and not just a cake walk. Her dreams were seldom very extravagant and rich, but it had a bit of everything-fun, emotions and love.

The fun of childhood days and teenage were challenged with a tough time yet she managed it well with a smile and confidence that better days are ahead.

Never would she miss any fun and seldom would you see her without a smile. And she always carried an extra pound of emotion. She would embrace anyone with friendliness and hypocorism was something she never knew it existed. Her dream extended from a favorite student to a successful professional, the delicate darling of her perfect home and it goes on….However God plays his trick, she would never move an inch from her effort of what you can call “The Ideal…Everything(?)….
In other words, persistence and if you go further, you can call it adamancy….

But today wrapped in the bedsheet is the pale Priyanka, without an ounce of energy, living a life for the sake of it. Cribbing has become more like her diet chart. Bundles of routine makes up her day but lost is the life in those bubbly eyes. The seamless love that she showers on her dear ones bring out disappointment when it demands reciprocation. Fear and agitation fills up the vaccum created in her and the half filled glass theory has long back turned out to half empty theory. Arguments have become her style of conversation and she lost the word acceptance in her dictionary. The pressure of life had stolen her dreams.

The beautiful December morning is not worth this nostalgic flashback. The sun was already shining bright and she pepped her up with a self booster so that she attempts another peaceful day, if not the happy days of her dreams.