Navneeth Neram...

Navneeth: What is the capital of America?
Mom: Washington
Navneeth: oh…….you have lot of washing machines in america ..thats you it is called so?



While Navneeth was constantly trying to disturb me while I was working on the computer. He was persistent that he wanted to watch his favorite Noddy CD on the computer. I said, please wait for a while dear, I am doing something very important. Tell me is it possible for 2 people to do different things on the computer at the same time? So you gotto wait for a while.
Navneeth: Yes! (with an expression of why not?) in his face.
Mom: How do you do it?
Navneeth? Buy another computer!!!!!
(Thank God! He was not probing into my words technically..they are so much inquisitive that hardly a few years and I better watch out before I say something)


With ants filling the kitchen, my little darling found a few in a bowl of rice. Next day, he saw his grandma having a bowl of rice, came running and said—stop! Paati ada saapdada..
Paati: enda?
Navneeth: with a face full of seriousness and care, paati, you know what”That day ant was eating the rice. It means it is sweet … so don’t eat rice because you have sugar..”
(Though coincidence with science that rice is not advisable for diabetes, it is the way the little mind relates that brought laughter to our faces)



It has always been “ME” who is always behind Navneeth, trying to make him come out of his playfulness. The childishness in him has never made him take the winning concept in competitions serious. Although, anytime he wins a prize, he is just elated. But today is the first time he had cried so much almost rolling on the floor that he deserved a prize and was not given. Somehow, convinced him winning is not all that matters every time, but wanting to win and learning from the winners is what it matters. Today, I was successful in convincing to do better the next time but with the outstanding smart kids all over, I hope he does not give up the spirit.

Confused!

Fear, guilt, insecurity…what not? Name anything inline with lack of confidence and I think I can feel it. It’s a tough phase and the more I think of it, the more these emotions swirl around and the most predictable outcome is complete smash of self control. A set back in health creates lot of guilt of not able to do what we want. There is nothing worse than not being able to do what you want for your child and there goes a tug of war with your body and mind where the weak adamant body wins over the well planned agenda of your mind. As I struggle more to win myself and the results go vain, there is one outburst of anger and then emerges fear, guilt ..and the viscous cycle is just replicating. I search everywhere as to where to point the blame and realize it’s all in me, though it is not in my control to be shaped the way I want. Every systematic plan coupled with lot of effort to make my little one to be on his own, is pulled down by the highly unpredictable state of health. So long there has been no compromise on the meticulous approach for his wholesome care, be it health, play or any other activities. Not that I was aiming for him to be perfect, I had the confidence I have all the time to understand his needs. I beleive it will all settle down in a while, but the phase to cope up is mind boggling. Everything is haphazard right from household chores to important activities like payment of rent skipping the schedule and at the end of it, all that remains is disgust and frustration. Hope this outlet of what runs through my mind gives little space to think clear or atleast leave everything for time to settle. For once, left with no other choice let me believe in luck and destiny whenever I stumble my own expectations.

Cling Cling

As a baby, my eyes hankered to hold the hands of my mom,
To break the insecurity, to give me confidence;
As I grow, the young girl in me looked forward
To hold on to my career,
Along with the fun and stress that it brought along.

The marriage knot brought a new dimension to life,
Holding on to a hand in the path of life,
Then I grow to hold on to a baby,
Both of us holding on to each other so that neither of us fall!

I sit around today thinking when would I come out of this
relay race of holding onto something,
Though you may call this a way of life,
Is it not time to hold on to something on which I have control,
Why not hold on to myself?
So that I can be steady enough to hold so many other hands!