Happy birthday my little Princess

It has been almost impossible for me to scribble my random thoughts with my little darling keeping me on toes all these years. This fondly created blog, which held my hand when I signed off from my career , has been almost void for almost five years from now. The reason being something more bubbly, naughty and challenging has been embraced by my hands and thoughts- none other than my little princess!!!!

Today, I sit down on the couch reminiscing the day you arrived into our lives and how time has passed that you are now all ready for your kindergarten. All these years, you have been with me right from the time I start the day, going around each activity together be it eating, playing , reading or sleeping. We scream at each other , cuddle each other and are seamlessly busy than anyone else that I never realized i needed to do anything beyond being with you. The day you put your arms around me for the first time and said- " mom, I love you ", when I was really mad not sure at whom or for what; it was a magic like the fairies from the heaven!!May be this is what it is all about having a Princess!😍

The reason my thought wanders in your love, warmth and of course your tantrums today is that tomorrow you are turning five and slowly the little fingers are drifting away from mine making me finger your memory, rather our five glorious years of memory.. Every time I make you a princess, you make sure that I am the queen. 

Happy birthday my little Princess! Be strong, cheerful and positive😊.God bless you with all the health, happiness, fortune and success in your every tiny step. Hold strong with your hero Anna and together unravel all the wonders of God's creations with love, humbleness, hard work , smiles and confidence. 

Happy birthday my little Princess

It has been almost impossible for me to scribble my random thoughts with my little darling keeping me on toes all these years. This fondly created blog, which held my hand when I signed off from my career , has been almost void for almost five years from now. The reason being something more bubbly, naughty and challenging has been embraced by my hands and thoughts- none other than my little princess!!!!

Today, I sit down on the couch reminiscing the day you arrived into our lives and how time has passed that you are ready for your kindergarten. All these years, you have been with me right from the time I start the day, going around each activity together be it eating, playing , reading or sleeping. We scream at each other , cuddle each other and are seamlessly busy than anyone else that I never realized i needed to do anything beyond being with you. The day you put your arms around me for the first time and said- " mom, I love you ", when I was really mad not sure at whom or for what. It was like a magic like the fairies from the heaven!!May be this is what it is all about having a Princess!😍

The reason my thought wanders in your love, warmth and of course your tantrums today is that tomorrow you are turning five and slowly the little fingers and drifting away from mine making me finger your memory, rather our five glorious years of memory.. Every time I make you a princess, you make sure that I am the queen. 

Happy birthday my little Princess! Be strong, cheerful and positive😊.God bless you with all the health, happiness, fortune and success in your every tiny step. Hold strong with your hero Anna and together unravel all the wonders of God's creations with love, humbleness, hard work , smiles and confidence. 

Krishna Krishna Mukunda Janardhana,,,,,

I don’t know when it all started

But I now know for sure your are always with me

When I am cross, you remind me I don’t spend time with you

When I am worried, you remind me that I forgot all about you

But when I need you, no matter how I was

You are there in different avatars

A neighbor, a friend or just some stranger that I meet in a park.

I know all I need to do is be in your thought,

 Admire your beauty or read your glory ,

And I will have everything going smooth as a newly serviced car

I know it all and its that laziness or the buzzzzzzzzzzzzziness

That keeps me away from the track

But you know how to bring me back to track!!

And that is why I am here writing this on your thought

I pray to you to fill my little brain with your thought

See you in every soul that comes my way

So that you wipe those clutters that blocks my way towards you

And all that remains   is just a state of bliss and and a feather like  heart.

Hare Krishna

New Year and Resolutions!!

Yet another new year and what hits the mind on a new year is "Resolutions!" Am sure to most of us when we were young, new year always had resolutions, most of which were meant to be broken.

As many other things, now as adults, when we look back at it, it may seem kiddish and most of us would have grown out of that habbit.

But this new year, after so many years, i took a reverse gear and gave the concept a thought once again. But this time as a mom-trying to inculcate as much positive aspects of life to her son . Something that was silly to me for the past few years, now seemed a nice way to initiate good things; even if we stumble and fall, it is not going to harm. You never know, it may work too!!

So, i put in my best effort to make it a very interesting concept..yes!!Every new year starts with a resolution and as every year grows,....our imagination now sores up together and i dont have to finish it !!

Now we ponder where to start..?Well, there are so many!!!But a jealous mom puts the most important one first...I thought i would trigger his imaginations by developing a love for writing..first step towards expression of emotions and unfold yourself to you.  Now when i say to write on every other thing we see or learn, there is nothing more boring for a seven year old. My whole idea will be a flop on the new year.

The mom gets into action and here i am adevertising my blog and the FB wall to my son. All your comments and thoughts and likes to flatter the young mind. We jump together on this idea.."His own blog"!!!

I know he feels some trick behind all this hype, but he is exciting to give a try and here we go making a deal.."He WRITES down whatever he feel and i type it on his blog- any music, sloka recitation or whatever he learns or likes will be published in his blog and we sit and share the comments together. "
Condtions apply- He is not replacing his writing in paper by typing directly on the system .

And here i go, creating his own blog and publishing his first post and i am sure he is excited as he gets up tomorrow morning.

My day

There can be many special occasions in our life and for some of us every day can be a celebration.

 But, to me Birthdays are always xtra special. Well, most of you will agree to this and as every year passes, we have many reminiscence  to cherish this day all through the year.

To me, every time i try to recollect my best birthday experience, i get reminded of the demise of the former TN CM,MGR. I was in 5th standard and my dad had promised me a trip to Mahabalipuram on that birthday. I have been eagerly waiting for it. I got a beautiful yellow chudidar which i even now vividly remember. I dont remember the reason why he had promised everything wonderful that year although he had made every year special to me. 

We were all set to the bus stop when someone said that no buses would run that day as MGR had passed away. So what? How does that make sense to a nine year old and how can she  tackle the disappointment of cancelling the trip she had planned so meticulously for months?My dad tried to convince me that he would take me after 2 days. But what about my birthday? I was all in tears. If it was just a promise then i could have taken it in a better way. But it was a birthday promise..and that to me was a big day. I remember my foolish, kiddish agruement saying "I want to go...So what if MGR died?  He is already dead..Why should i not celebrate my birthday??", cursing him if he never got a better date.The day passed with my dad's patience in handling me and then we went on the 27th. It was fun and we had a souvenir of the beach shell marking this day on it. I still have it with me.

There are so many other birthdays of mine that he had made very special  with surprises and happiness. May be because of this, i always felt birthdays very special. Although i grow old every year, i expect every birthday the same as he had made it to me. 

And also, i like to make my dear ones feel exactly the same on their day. Some may call it kiddish and surprises and parties are only when we are young but i bet everyone can feel the joy when someone makes you feel special on this day. 

Now i realise my dad did this to feel special about myself. He wanted me to feel the most important  and also taught me to love myself. Surprises and gifts are expressions of affection and care and not something flamboyant. And the best gift i would give my dad is to pass it on to my children. Yes, Navneeth is all excited making a birthday card for me and surprising me every little way he can. And now he is already all set for his birthday plans. There is no greater joy in making your loved ones feel that their presence in your life is the best gift, worth a great celebration.

Your sms list, phone calls, emails or gifts on your birthdays may reduce but that must never pull you down from celebrating your day. You are always special to yourself and this is what makes you young as you grow older.

This year was extra special with me making my own birthday cake with a note "Happy Birthday Amma"'. The explanation by Navneeth for this goes like this ''I cant buy a cake as i am still young and i dont know to make a cake, so on my behalf you make a vanilla cake until i grow big"'!!!!

Thank you dear...:) 

Snowwhite

  You are so white like the angel ,

  Who just stepped out of the heaven,

 Kindling the romance from within.
.

 You are so white that you coin

 The peace behind any disturbed mind.

 You are the icon for love at first sight…

 Like everything else,

When the freshness fade

You get hard and make everyone fall
Yet another paradigm of the heavenly creation!!! 

Harini Leelai

Something that has been boggling in my mind for a long time was the commencement of Harini's leelaigal and the joy of her growing childhood. But where is she giving the time?

The little ladybird keeps me on my toes all the time but i know she wont let that be a reason of me being partial to his bro and neither is that fair.

Pictures speak more than words and here is a sample of her leelais.

Rolling on the floor in the middle of the street, throwing any type of food straight on the face when you dont need it, hitting all the keys in the keyboard in one shot when your favorite rhyme gets over are some of your most humble mischiefs.

I dress you up with all the cap, socks, sweater and shoes and pack you so well in the pram and there you are in the bus biting your shoes. I remove it for you and you go ahead with the socks and cap. Every person i know and some i may not know tell me to protect you from the wind so that you dont catch cold. And i think your mission is accomplished!!!

This list will  be neverending, so let me update it whenever i get the slightest of time to cherish the naughty tantrums of my darling devil.

Lonely bird

I run around the three rooms with my darling devil
Doing all the chore
Trying to be  as busy and as crazy
So that there is no room for bore.

The only person  i know here
Calls me just to say
Not to call  for the next three hours.
And thats when i realised
I have no one else to call;
And I am all alone.
Yes, a lonely bird with a little lady bird.

The kick off

When I heard the news about the chances of relocating to the Netherlands, the immediate reaction that flashed in my mind was a big NO! Onsite has been synonymous to the US or UK to most of the software engineers, especially if it is a long term opportunity and if you are with school- going kids.  Anything other than that, you get skeptical and it was the same with me. But better not jump into conclusion without a little bit of pondering, was what my mind said.

Suddenly  what sparked my mind was a message I got to the orkut group two years back. It was from an ex- office colleague with whom I had lost touch, as with many of them ; after getting engrossed with my darling devils. Yes..she said she was in Amsterdam..and in next half an hour I shoot a mail. Her kindness and God’s will; she responded positively and convincingly that it is a nice place..much better than the US as you don’t have to depend on a car!! Nothing to be taken personal, it was just her opinion.

Ok, there goes the kick off. Next few days browse as much, analyse on the international board of education, do still deeper to find the extra curricular classes and then research on the hospitals, vaccines, weather and ofcourse temples!!!Try to get more contacts, bombard them with all this hoping not to get into their nerves and finally give the green signal on the move.

The only thing that could never console my mind or even accept any near compromise was Navneeth’s school.  As a parent, I liked everything about it. I still remember the days when I had to decide on his schooling. I was in a dilemma of whether to put him in a normal CBSE school or the upcoming Montessori method of education where the child learns at his pace. All I wanted was a holistic development for him so that at the end of it,  he is successful and happy. The outcome of putting the child in a prestigious and popular CBSE school is straight forward and we all know it. To know the other side of the new education tree, I met a Montessori trained teacher cum friend with whose explanation I was carried away but the end of it she asked me ,”If all you want is success and happiness of your child, will you be ok if he grows up and says ,””Mom, I want to be a Potter”! and another friend jokingly remarked only if there is a race, there is the motive to run. If you praise a lazy jog with a WOW, he is never going to run.That minute I was clear. I want him to run and pottery can be no more than a hobby for him. 

I am clear I am right for my son and days were happy from the day he stepped into PSBB. There was no pressure and there was time for all the fun  while his studies and extra curriculars went hand in hand, very good indeed. Be it writing, sloka, swimming or drawing there was healthy competition with real smart kids and in three years the classmates are real pals.

Well, everything must pass is the rule of life but I really dint want this to pass so soon. The last day to collect his TC was really tough at heart though Navneeth would not have realized it much or rather the man in him made him hide his emotions with the compromising statement that I will join them in third standard. Sometimes it is nice when we are just kids. But I can say I could compare my feelings with a successful engineering girl candidate having her campus offer at Infosys on one side of the balancing scale and a marriage proposal of a nice guy with a green card. You never know until the end which weighs more!!

All this flashback was just to say that we are all set  to board the western education system. “” no pressure all appreciation” way to bring out the inside talent could not stop me from being reminded of my friends remark on the running competition. . .

Crazy

You scream with all your might last night at him

And take a vow you would never turn back to him

Next day, it rains heavily when he is out

And with no second thought

You call him to check out If he has his rain coat

What do you call it?

My Holland Recipe

 
When I became a full time home maker, for the first time this is what i described myself

(One spoon of health + 2 tbs of laziness + 1 tbs of cooking + a pinch of personal time) – (2 tbs of confidence+2 tbs of mood swing+ a full spatula of devilish thoughts working on the devil’s mind)

Over the time, the recipe was lot more better with little spice of working from home option garnished with a touch on painting and spiritual incline.

And after the arrival of my second darling Harini,  the health factor and personal time has taken the reverse gear and there is no room for laziness. So you can see what remains. Well, the positive side could be that there is no room in the mind for any kind of thought except her feeding time, potty time, sleep time and the remaining time goes in  frequent reminding of every possible task to Navneeth. So, the devil factor is also out!

On the whole, being busy this way was also not all that bad compared to what I felt as soon as I left my job.

But now, in the Holland, the recipe is really really worse..

Morning = One spoon of cooking+2 spoons of cleaning + one spoon of laundry and dishes

Afternoon=one spoon of playing with Harini ending up with 2 spoons of cleaning

Evening = 2 spoons of pickup service + one spoon of cooking+ quarter spoon of study accompanied by one spoon of altercations with Navneeth

Night=one spoon of dishwashing +one spoon of cleaning and the bonus is half a spoon of FB and blogging.

Well, there are so many nice things about the place to learn and enjoy but for now I think the recipe remains unaltered. Let us see how it goes…

Miss you dear...

I can hear the next door bell ringing, footsteps in the neighborhood; I hear the voice of other people in the apartment. What is wrong? Looks strange for a mom with 2 kids..Is it not?

There is pin drop silence around me with my little girl sleeping next to me. Slowly I get up, feeling good and peaceful for the first ten minutes. I make my coffee sit in the couch relaxing with legs stretched. Is this not heavenly?

I get up clean the mess around the house and in half an hour I feel strange..lonely perhaps?

Yes dear, I am missing you…I miss screaming at you every ten minutes for annoying me..and you getting annoyed in turn..

What is cleaning ,without me screaming at you..””Navneeth, how many times I tell you….””and before I finish I get the reply “”ok MOM””…

What is having lunch without saying ””You are never going to change…If you eat so slow…””and I don’t have to complete…I get the reply  ÖK Mom’

I missed your little silly way to keep your lil sister engaged when I have my bath or busy in the kitchen..

I missed you when I had to open the lift in one hand while handling your little sisters’, gymnastics in the pram with the other hand.

I missed you when I had to open the apartment doors with the keys, again with your gymnastics sister..,

I missed screaming at you for watching the television serial in Dutch about which you had no clue of what is happening!!

Everything around me is incomplete and there is no flavor without you around..Its not just me ..its also you lil sister feeling the emptiness but unable to express..

It is 2:30 and I am all set to pick you up from the school darling ….

With enlightened spirit, I hug you and ask you how was your first day at the new school and you made my day with the answer “”Excellent..i loved it””

What more? Back again, let me pep up myself with all that I missed before you are off to school tomorrow!

Eeeeeeeeeeee........(fly)

Zoinnnnnn…...............goes the music buzzing in your ears...without any inhibition of the sound or tune on the listener’s ears. I shoo you away and you are back with a little modified buzz, no better than before.  I open the doors for you to spread your music to the world, but then you are too loyal to me. I checked every nook and corner of the house so as to find what made you stick to us; I wiped every possible place with all the brands of cleansers that claimed to be your foe. But no! You are strong and persistent!

You buzz around when my Navneeth, after all possible excuses, sits to write his notes and there it goes….Mom, this FLY is disturbing me, so I can’t write!!!

I put my little Harini to sleep with all the great effort, creating a perfect night effect, pin-drop silence in par with the libraries and there you go …zoin…………………on her ears and she is no lesser than you; there goes a musical contest, zoin…………..and Aennnnnnnnnnnnnnn…………..”seriyana potti”!!!

What are you upto? You don’t invite your friends nor do you want to go out. May be you are a loner? Or having a peaceful vacation practicing your melodious music and playing hide and seek with me to while away  your boredom?

Whatever it is, I think I have started getting used to you, or rather used to put up with you than clash with you as in most of the times J

Love it when it is so simple!!

Very True !!!

Very true! But many times the emotional swirl makes it hard to realize thts simple fact...Well said! 

Cool :)

The real project management!

No doubt I adore my two little darlings who add flavors to my life, but sometimes I am tested for my patience when it drains my energy levels to a complete zero. It’s so demanding that metaphorically I could not help relating them to handling a maintenance project of a demanding client and a prospective and an interesting project with a new client!

No matter how hard I try to manage the time so that I finish everything and put Harini to sleep before Navneeth is back from school, the sweet demanding angel is wide awake exactly when her bro is back from school. There comes Navneeth dashing the door open without even removing his socks- with all the enthusiasm to tell some stories of his long day at school and in a jiffy his mood takes a topsy-turvy when he finds his mom not having time to listen to them. All he gets to hear is- “can’t you remove your socks? Why do you open the door with such force?” And there he goes out with a louder bang on the door after pulling her leg or hand with nonchalance. Then I calm this little lady and go to the big bro with all the buttering and there he looks at me indifferently.Uff…with all the patience bundled with silly stories, funny stories, tickling and fun, he gets back to form. The little sis sniffs it and call the mom for a nappy change. And now when Navneeth misses on something or start his tantrum, that’s the end. He gets a piece of my mind- a real big piece of my mind. Poor thing! May be he even thinks-“does mom have multiple split personality?”. Just that he may be too young to put it in words!!

Adding to this, come the altercations in doing the homework, getting Navneeth ready for classes, the daily activities, the household chores and settling down the night with the little angel- singing lullaby and playing to her sweet tunes even after the midnight has passed by a long time back.

Toggling between these two darlings, struggling to satisfy both to the maximum made me relate it to the toughest project management tasks at office. The challenge here is however tough the timelines are, you cannot delegate the tasks nor would you want to delegate it :)) The distinguishing line is that-"this is a project filled with love and emotions that will remain close to your heart till the end. Great performance here may not fetch promotions or bonus but the smiles, hugs and satisfaction you get in return cannot be matched. "

No doubt, Old is Gold

I am alone with my little daughter and she is sleeping. With almost all the work done for the day, I assume I have a little time for myself until she rings the alarm. I thought I can catch up with some of the missed calls of my friends. Only then I realized I don’t know a single number by heart; much to be ashamed, even my mom’s number(new mobile number though!), with the mobile lost.

I lost my mobile yesterday night and it has been misused by some miscreant, who had his part of fun by calling all the contacts in the midnight, creating embarrassment and havoc. Thank God, I had written down some of the frequently used numbers in case of any emergency during my delivery. I am completely handicapped now losing all the contact details.

It just flashed my mind how I used to remember the numbers of almost all my friends and relatives during the pre cell phone days; and maintain a telephone diary which now looks like an antique for me. Now when I dial the numbers using the house landline, I feel like using it for the first time . Storing all the numbers with names and reaching them in one-press has been one of the contributing factors for my rusting memory. May be I cannot get back the memory of having all the numbers in my finger tips, but with this incident I ensured that I practice writing down the numbers so that I don’t get stuck like this, especially such precious rare time for a pep talk which adds some spice and energy to the otherwise monotonous routine :). Time to think about the flip sides of the advanced technologies :).

Time machine

While I was revisiting my blog after a long time, thought would change its look and feel; To try some variety, going back and forth many options and template…to come out of the same monotonous look…! When I was able to hit the option to go back to my previous template, it just flicked my mind – how wonderful would it be if we had this choice in life!!!

Paasa Malargal??

When I held my dear Navneeth for the first time, it was like a magic that made me feel I would do anything in the world to bring a smile to this delicate darling who just came into my life few hours back and blessed me to feel the motherhood. He meant (and of course would remain so !) the world to me in a jiffy, as I held him for the first time. I promised him I would always give the best of me in everything.

Now, I have another little gal in my hand and it’s the same feeling once again. This time, while admiring my little princess, I kept reassuring the big brother in whose eyes I saw happiness, fear and little insecurity. I guess this is natural, though I never had a chance to experience it.

The initial days of turmoil he brought in with all the adamancy I could never imagine on him, kindled a doubt of how is this gonna work out. Right from throwing the swimming float on his 11 days old little sister, pulling her hand or head secretly, to wanting to practice his karate punch with her. I didn’t know whether to sympathize with him or just scream with all my might “ whts wrong with you”? as if he knew it and I dint know!!!

But now, my sweetheart Navneeth triggered me to just blog this. All the made up stories, advice, screaming or the matter of time..dunno which worked! I could not help admire you secretly talking to ur lil sister saying you would teach her everything. It was so sweet of you showing her everything around her ‘ This is your nappy pad”, “ This is a cell phone” …You then assured her that she would get everything he got ; right from his play school, school, rattle and the brand of nappies and of course nothing different or extra, be it a nappy brand!!:)))

and now when I kissed him goodnight, he said- Mom, when she troubles you crying I will take care of her by singing or doing something the way you would do for me. Call me when she cries!

Oh my God! With the biggest happiest hug I just managed to say “Sure, now you sleep!”.

So my little princess, You got the best big brother who is just counting days to hold you in his hand and walk you through the world. I am so happy about you my dear son, though I know you would have some innovative tantrum to keep me behind you and test my patience right in the morning.